So here's the realization I came to
today...I'm kind of defective. This
word just seems to really sum up
how I feel towards certain emotional
responses I have sometimes.

It's hard when all you want sometimes
is just to feel loved, but you know that
what feels like love isn't always love at
all, and "what feels like torture is a
time to rejoice and what sounds like
thunder is a comforting voice" (Derek
Webb, a la "What Is Not Love").

So what am I talking about? I'm talking
about how I'm getting to know this guy
slowly (must it always be about a guy,
Lis? No, it's just that this is the time in
my life where it often is, ok? I'm just
trying to find a home for my heart, but
I'm trying to do this in a God-honoring
way, as best I can. So just have a little
understanding ok? Oh, I'm just talking
to myself by the way. We're a little
combative at times, haha.) and it's just
so scary sometimes when you're first
getting to know someone, really know
someone.

Part of you just wants to run and hide
and say "He doesn't really want to know
the real me," but the stronger part of
you says, "You don't know anything yet
and you ought not to give so much
credence to your fickle emotions. Just
give it time and for once in your life just
SAY NO TO DRAMA!"

Yeah, if only it were that easy.
But maybe it is! ?? Eh, who knows?
Somebody knows, yeah.

So here's a little song about Kansas and
transitioning into Fall
(or is it? haha, of course not)

Written on a cold day in late summer

Kansas you fall with such grace
but at such a maddening pace
Slow yourself down
it's not quite time for that white wedding gown

Remember last year when you and October met?
You dove in head first, letting him rule your world
but then had to just back out

He tried to forgive you but it was too late
The cold had set in

Kansas, let Fall set the pace
But get to know him first, this 'aint no race
Let life be stable and sane just this once
C'mon, give it a try


How do you like all my honesty? Sometimes I think
I'm too out there with my inner monologue on this
thing....but oh well. I might as well be real with
the world, the internet world that is. The rest of
the world will just have to guess at my inner
realities by observing a calm and collected exterior.
Hahaha, we live in such a hidden world! Oh, that
reminds me of Dr. Wetmore! I miss his classes SO
MUCH!!!! Oh dear, oh dear.

I have a new niece!!!!!!!!!!
Brianna Grace Enns. Can't wait to meet this wonderful
new person! Wonder who she is. Someday I'll have a
much better idea. Congratulations brother and family!

Oh, and the history of Special Education is FASCINATING.
That's all I got.