Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I would really appreciate prayer from my Christian
brothers and sisters, so if you have a spare minute,

I am getting two new boys tomorrow with two
unique personalities and sets of life circumstances
...and I am very inadaquate to handle difficult Jr.
High boys. I'm hoping and praying that God will
give me wisdom to help and bless these boys I
will meet in the morning.

Thank you. :-)

Oh, and I had a good and very social weekend. :-)
Fun times with 20's and 30's group people.

Grace (my church) hosted a concert for the group
"Indellible Grace" last Sunday, and I was very
blessed by it. I bought one of their CD's and would
recommend them highly for some great inspiration.
The group takes old, wonderful hymn texts and sets
them to mostly new music. They lyrics are what really
does it for me. The music is good as well, though I
probably wouldn't mind some of the old tunes staying
a little more the same. But they've done a nice job of
updating the style and keeping the words central.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

OK, I guess I'm over it. You can all breath a huge sigh of
relief, or something.

My troubled Josh didn't show up for school today. He
was the first. I heard it would happen. One day they're
there, the next, you find out they've been moved from
the shelter for one reason or another. So I won't get
to work with him anymore. No more bad attitude, anger,
rage, pulling my chair out from under me and laughing
as I fall in front of a crowd of people, rude comments,
accidental exposures of deep insecurities, rare and
sporadic hugs, and contagious energy and bounding
down the hall and hiding behind doors and lockers so
he can jump out and "scare" me. Josh, I will miss you.
God, please be with him.

For all his flaws, working with Josh made the day very
interesting. There are still four other interesting cases,
so it will be ok.

Ya know, there's a whole lot I COULD write in here,
such as recent reflections from "Mere Christianity"
(wonderful stuff - we're reading through it in Bible
study), but...well, here's a summary:

You know how when you don't FEEL like being nice
or friendly, but you know you should, you can sort of
just start pretending that you do feel like it, and then
after a while, you actually DO feel like it? You kind of
pretend your way into doing what you deep down
want to do. Well, it's kind of like that with not
FEELING like you are a new creation in Christ who is
holy and blameless. You just start pretending at
first, but the big difference and failure of the analogy
is that Christ comes in and by His power makes you
a new creation who truly IS holy and blameless. But
you have to start from a point of being a desire-driven
sinner who ackowledges their sin, but then chooses to
believe that now, through Christ, they ARE new, and
start acting on this knowledge, though sort of timidly
and falteringly at first.

That's according to Lewis. Man, it's good stuff. A lot
more than I can summarize here. There's also this
analogy about rats in the basement, and how when
you find yourself reacting badly to something but
justify it with "well, I was just caught off gaurd", you
have to realize that circumstances don't create our
bad reactions, they only reveal what was already there.
Just like suddenly coming into your house reveals to
you that there are rats in the basement when you hear
them scurrying away, but your coming in suddenly didn't
create the rats.

Here's a quote:
"It is not a question of a good man who died 2000 years
ago. It is a living Man, still as much a man as you, and still
as much God as He was when He created the world, really
coming and interfering with your very self; killing the old
natural self in you and replacing it with the kind of self
He has. At first, only for moments. Then for longer periods.
Finally, if all goes well, turning you into a different sort of
thing; into a new little Christ, a being which, in its own small
way, has the same kind of life as God; which shares in His
power, joy, knowledge and eternity."

I LOVE IT!!!

And on a more personal note: I am doing very well. Some
days I do feel pretty lonely, but it hasn't been at all close to
unbearable, ya know? Slowly I am making connections and
feeling validated in small but meaningful ways. And God
truly is always there beside me, and even when I don't feel
it, knowing is still enough to get me through those moments.

I actually have a tentative date for next Thursday night. Ok,
ok, so it's a date with a really nice GIRL from church. hee hee,
but she seems SUPER sweet and fun, and she's a high school
art teacher. How cool is that? We seem to really click.

OK, and this is how awesome my church is - we sang these song
snippets last sunday (except ALL the verses):

"Jesus, I my cross have taken, all to leave and follow Thee;
Destitute, despised, forsaken, Thou from hence my all shalt be.
Perish every fond ambition, all I've sought or hoped or known;
Yet how rich is my condition, God and heaven are still my own.

Let the world despise and leave me, they have left my Savior too;
Human hearts and looks deceive me; Thou art not, like them, unture;
Oh, while Thou dost smile upon me, God of wisdom, love and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me; show Thy face, and all is bright."

(from "Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken")

"Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus, I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless, satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings, meets, supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings: Thine is love indeed!

Ever lift Thy face upon me as I work and wait for Thee;
Resting 'neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus, earth's dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father's glory, sunshine of my Father's face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting, fill me with Thy grace."

(from "Jesus, I Am Resting, Resting)

These songs so remind one of the passage about exhorting
one another with all wisdom as you sing spiritual songs to
one another, or however it goes.

Alright, alright. I'm done already. :-) I can be so excessive,
and then so silent. I am a moody blogger. Who am I kidding,
I'm just kind of a moody person in general. ur, uh, yeah that's
me alright. Oh Lord, don't you know it.

And on that strange note, (I think it was an E sharp) I will bid
you all goodnight.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I enjoyed your blog / xanga tonight.

Thanks for posting. And I wish that we could
freeze time and all get together and talk about
our internal monologues and how they relate to
the greater sphere of humanity and God. But I
am here, and you are there, and life is odd.

I'm going through a weird "I don't feel lilke blogging" thing
that I probably will recover from.

Everything seems too personal these days. Don't know why.
Not exactly.

But I will say this. Autumn is almost here. I like the gradual
changes of seasons. Comforting. Always changing, but
always somehow the same.

A thought: do you suppose that in prayer we really can, in
a sense, still have fellowship with one another? I would like
that to be true. It would help me to feel connected to people
I'm away from more, and it would give me greater motivation
for consistent prayer. Maybe...

Thanks for bearing with me. I'm not very cool sometimes.
I'm a weakling. I just need to say it, 'cause I cry a lot, and
then feel better, and wonder if I'm at all normal. Goodnight.

(Renee, thanks for calling. Abby, I need to call you and hear
about modeling or not in NYC. Jenny, thanks for calling and
I should call you back. You’re a dear. Jamie, I hope you’re
doing alright. I should call you maybe soon. Mark, hope
things in Texas are stabalizing or improving. Jim, hope the
semester is goig great. Others who may read this, I wish
you the very best.)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Been busy.
Life is good.
My jobs are good.
I like my life, for the most part,
and I like talking to God and
talking with other Christians
about how God's love is like a
showering of water so great
that you have to

brace yourself

for it. Awesome. May it be
a realization that makes a difference
in my life. May I act out on the
knowledge of Your Grace, Lord, and
shine with peace and love.

Hope you are well. I most likely prayed
for you tonight...well, for a lot of you. I'll
catch the rest later. :-)

Fade, fade each earthly joy, Jesus is mine
Break every tender tie, Jesus is mine.
Dark is the wilderness, earth has no resting place
Jesus alone can bless, Jesus is mine.

(one of my favorite Hymns)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Start your post off with some thought-
provoking quotes, and your readers will
cheer! Well, I like these quotes anyway.
What do you think?

"A cynic knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing."
--Oscar Wilde

"All of human unhappiness comes from
one single thing; not knowing how to
remain at rest in a room."
--Blaise Pascal


"The man who loves mystery
is the only kind of man for me,
for this life is not always a cinch
and my soul is like a labyrinth."
--Lisa Enns

OK, that last one was just something I wrote
in my journal. Do "cinch" and "labyrinth" pass
off as a rhyme alright? On paper it's kind of
odd, but with the tune I think it might work out.

Maybe I could meet you, really meet you.
Maybe it would all be wonderful from start
to end. Maybe I've never known what I could
know with you. Or maybe my hopes are just
higher than the harsh reality of living down
here in the real world. Am I high, or is everyone
else just low, trying to con me into a life that
isn't really what I envision my life as being?

This is what I have to believe:

Sometimes things WILL work out
just the way they should.
Most times things will work out
the way you knew they would.
So have a little faith in yourself
and the words that come from your soul.
But most of all have faith in God
and give up all control.

Yes, this post is filled with recent Lisa song blurbs
being passed off as other things.

Here is my last song blurb. (At some later date I
will decide which of these blurbs deserve to be
developed into full fledged songs)

(Dear God)
"You know that I know my life in in Your hands,
so take this day and do with it what only You can."

My head is full of melodies that keep me company
and give shape to my otherwise jumbled thoughts.
Isn't that fun? la la la music and words.

Here is the lisaadvice for the day:
Be thankful for all the tremendous blessings you enjoy
every day without even thinking, like
*FOOD *A JOB *HEALTH etc.
Not to mention
*FREEDOM and *THE BIBLE and *THE HOLY SPIRIT
INDWELLING ME and *JESUS WHO INTERCEDES FOR ME
especially in light of those in the south who are without
food, shelter, water, their normal lives, etc.

These are things I sometimes have to remind myself of
when I am tempted to groan about my current job
(only one more week though).

We are SSSOOO blessed, don't you agree?
Must remember to pray, that we would be truly thankful,
and pray for those who are in need. Remember to pray,
Lisa, to really pray.

Goodnight my friend. I am so glad that you are out there,
being you. Till we meet again....