There have been many emotional ups and
downs since we last met. What? You're not
surprised? Well, they weren't THAT big...ok
maybe one of them was. You know me.

I had one really bad night of negative emotions,
about a week ago. There, I said it.

Now that that is out of the way...I am doing
well.

Here are some snippets of my life lately:

New brake pads: $320

Butternut Squash Au Gratin was made and
brought to apartment downtown to share with
new friends.

Because of Winn Dixie - cute movie aimed at
kids, but appealing to most.

Car battery died - AAA to the rescue!

A lovely evening with Naomi, an artist and art
teacher, sharing and talking at her old, two-story
white house in Valley Falls.

Some progress with my oh so tempermental and
troubled Al'Leon. He's still too cool for me, but
he's letting me help him now and then. :-)

Reading E.M. Forster's "Howard's End" for fun.
("Only connect!" says Forster.)

Once again came to a point of realization of my
need of grace, and the need to change aspects of
myself. Sometimes I take my own emotions too
seriously, instead of just accepting them and
keeping them in perspective. This lonliness will
not always be, and I've been told to give it one year.
I can do that. One year of building a foundation of
relationships and familiarities. One year of occasional
lonliness.

Song blurb:
So what if no one remembers my name
and so what if nobody sees the real me
This life is more than some long shot at fame
and I have a Father who believes in me

What is life, what is life, what is life, what is life
if it's not my own?
What is life, what is life, what is life, what is life
if I can't just be alone?

Suddenly realized that I'm still just a kid in many ways.

Felt like an old lady. (I like to stay home and cook things
instead of going out many times)

Salmon Rushdie lecture at the Lied Center: free
I disagreed with tons that he said, but it was still interesting,
I mean, it is Salmon Rushdie we're talking about here. But
man, he was really insulting to anyone who's not an atheist.
Coffee afterwards with Eric and subsequent walking downtown
was quite enjoyable. Yeah for new friends who want to one
day be President, or maybe a Senator and enjoy the music of
U2.

Listened to Coldplay - "Parachutes" and enjoyed it very much.

Watched "Hotel Rwanda" because Renee told me to, and am
very glad she did. Sad, sad, and I had no idea about all of
that. How can that stuff happen? How can people hate so
much that they want to wipe out a whole race? What can
we do to help? I recommend watching it.

Recieved a DVD of a beautiful wedding that I had the honor
of being a part of.

Listened to some Mozart String Quartets.

Had some interesting talks with Jamie on many many topics
that kind of jumped all over the place in a funny little way.

Got a letter from my oldest friend (age of our friendship,
that is), Alison Maloney, and enjoyed it so so much. So
sweet and such encouraging words on the topic of my
Kansas venture.

Got a letter from dearest Bethany from boot camp and
my day was brightened with intensest light. (I've been
waiting to use the word "intensest" after reading it in
"Howard's End". I hope I'm using it acceptably. Oh,
and I like "encroaching" too, from something else I
read.)

Fell in love with Fall and Moroccan Mint Green Tea at
Milton's Cafe.

Today I am struck with the beauty of my life - the wonder
of being so free and so blessed. Lord, make me a channel
of blessing. I wrote this in my journal today:
"What can it profit for one girl to be so full of passions?
Oh God, take all of me, breathe through every restless
longing and burning desire with your fierce breath of life."
Sometimes I am overwhelmed with all the things I want
to do, and want to do well, and I want to do them all at once,
but I can't. But I can do one thing at a time, and sometimes
even two or three. And that will have to do.

Goodnight. Next time I may have some C.S. Lewis quotes
that I don't have time for right now.

Eat squash - preferrably Butternut or Acorn, ok? It's good.
And take nice long walks when you can. I'm due for one.

Celebrate the Fall!