Philippians 4:12-13
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for
I have learned to be content whatever the
circumstances. I know what it is to be in need
and I know what it is to have plenty.
I have learned the secret of being content
in any and every situation, whether well fed
or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do everything through him who gives me
strength."

I am clinging to this. That kind of peace and content
no matter the situation is available to me, and to you
as well, praise God. I am slowly beginning to feel it,
to sense His stirring inside when I am tempted to
complain over the confusion of life sometimes.

Here comes the honesty: So I went on a series of
dates last weekend that were really great with a guy
who seemed really great, but now it seems my inner
spirit is saying not to continue on this path.
God, I think I did the right thing tonight...but only
you know all and see all. Please, please, just don't let
me ruin my life.

Thoughts from "Mere Christianity" (very last part):

**Our society is so obsessed with the concept of
"finding yourself", but when we really get down
to the bottom of it, we realize that most of our
selves can be explained by our genetics and our
digestive system. I thought this was a funny way
of putting it, but really, how often are my bad
moods merely the result of what I ate for lunch or
how much sleep I got, or my own personal level
of stimulus overload being breached (I think I have
at least a slightly lower tolerance than most)? I may
not be as complex as I sometimes fancy myself as
being. I think Lewis has a point with that thought.

**God isn't impersonal or just personal - He is
superpersonal, and when we join with him we
don't so much lose ourselves as a drop of water
does into a stream or the ocean as we become,
somehow, MORE OURSELVES.

**We, as Christians, are to catch Christ's "good
infection" and become more like Him, as one
becomes more warm by nearing a fire, or more wet
by entering water.

Lewis is great with the analogies.

"Howard's End" is also turning out to be a good read,
but on a different level. Here's a (long) quote I liked:

"The sound of a lady's voice recalled him from
sincerity, and he said: 'Curious it should all come
about from reading something of Richard Jefferies.'
'Excuse me, Mr. Bast, but you're wrong there. It
didn't. It came from something far greater.'
But she could not stop him. Borrow was
imminent after Jefferies - Borrow, Thoreau, and
sorrow. R.L.S. brought up the rear, and the outburst
ended in a swamp of books. No disrespect to these
great names. They mean us to use them for sign-
posts, and are not to blame if, in our weakness, we
mistake the sign-post for the destination. He had
visited the county of Surrey when darkness covered its
ammenities, and its cosy villas had re-entered ancient
night. Every twelve hours this miracle happens, but he
had troubled to go and see for himself. Within his
cramped little mind dwelt something that was far
greater than Jefferie's books - the spirit that led
Jefferies to write them; and his dawn, though revealing
nothing but monotones, was part of the eternal sunrise
that shows George Borrow Stonehedge."

This thought rings true with me - the thought that life
is about something far deeper than books, movies, and
*gasp* even music. Those things can powerfully point
us towards life, or death, but they are only a pale shadow
of the beauty (or tragedy) that is in every human soul, every
day, if only we'll dig below our flesh to the place where our spirit
lives. This finding of beauty is, of course, only truly and fully
accomplished through the work of the Holy Spirit. It's only
by God's power in us that we can become MORE OURSELVES,
and help others to become more themselves as well.


Oh, and I have had some good days at school lately. My boys
have been keeping me busy helping them, but that is such a
good thing. I think they are starting to trust me a little more,
and aren't too threatened by my presence or my helping them.
Here's to more opportunites to build on that trust.

If you want to, pray for a troubled ninth grade boy I am
woking with. He got OSS (out of school suspension) again
today for losing his temper again.

I truly hope you are doing well. My prayer is that we all might
trust in the Lord and fill our minds and hearts with his Truth.
He hears even the smallest, weakest prayers and loves those
who are poor in spirit.

I'm going to work on some music stuff before the day is
through. Have a great day!