The Mystery of the Tasteless Food - A Near Death Experience

O.k., funny story time. Actually, even a little scary.
Please learn from my mistake.

Alright, so I moved a few months ago. I move into my new
apartment and all is well. Then one night I decide to make
some Baba Ghanoush. I go through the whole painstaking
process, roasting the eggplant, etc. etc., and I get to
the final step of adding a bit of salt. I'm using this
new (but old) salt shaker with this screw on lid. Yeah,
apparently the last time I screwed it on, I didn't go the
whole way. So I shake it a couple times and suddenly have
a mountain of salt in my Baba Ghanoush!! NO!!!!

But believe it or not, I managed to salvage some of it,
though it was still pretty salty. I don't like wasting, not
one bit!

O.k., so now I go to fill up my salt shaker with some more
salt. During the move, I put some things in plastic bags
that were once in less smashable containers, such as my
sea salt. But there it was, my bag of sea salt with those
large white granules. So I fill up my salt shaker and make
peace with my past experience. Nevermore will I have such
bad cooking karma! Or so I thought...

A few days go by, all seems well. However, as time goes
on, I gradually develop this strange feeling that something
is not right in my kitchen. Then my stomach starts to feel
a little funny. Then, last night when my guacamole was STILL
not tasting right after I added plenty of salt, it clicks.
Something is not right with my salt!

I pour a little out in my hand and taste it. Weird! Gross!
What is that? What have I been putting on all my precious
organic food for the past week?!

That's when I realize; it was not sea salt that I put in that
plastic bag. No, it was EPSOM SALT, you know, the stuff you
put in your bath to relax your muscles? Oh, no! So I went
to my computer (what would we do without the internet?) and
googled the stuff. I knew that epsom salt could also be used
as a laxative, but I found out that it is not highly recommended.
Actually, there have been several deaths reported with epsom
salt consumption!

Yikes, yikes, YIKES!

Don't worry, I'm starting to feel more "normal" now, though
that wasn't exactly my problem, haha. No, seriously though, it
didn't even mess with me that much. So funny when I realized
what I had been sprinkling on my food. How ridiculous.

There's my story. What's your story, hmm?