Random, scattered thoughts and bits of subconscious from tired brain:

Sometimes I think maybe half the country is right and Obama is going to be a good next president, but then someone mentions socialism and overspending on big government and I run back to my Conservative corner and pick up my McCain / Palin sign.

Overspending and too much controlling both react bad with me, and not just on a political level. Those are issues deeply ingrained in me to be repelled by, one from my wise, financially smart father, and the other by something stubborn inside of me. I don't like the idea of the government controlling any more than is necessary.

But what do I know, honestly? I'm against abortion for sure, so that also reinforces the Republican ticket for me. I definitely lean that way, but the trouble is, I don't honestly know what is what sometimes, I just react to things I'm pretty sure I think are true.

I like music therapy. I had so much fun this morning with the two boys with autism I'm working with this semester. Seriously though, I'll be so glad when Anatomy and Analysis of Variance (ANOVA) class are over! In a strange way I'm enjoying being stretched and learning all kinds of new and ridiculous things (do you have any idea how many veins and arteries and nerves are in your face? Yeah, well I kind of do), but it will feel great to have it behind me.

BLARG! I want to have more time to be artsy and deep and play my little guitar outside in the Autumn air. Oh, life, you are still so so busy. I'm still kind of readjusting after the Boston trip as well, though it hasn't been overly hard.

I had a great time overall in Boston by the way. Jason's wedding was nice and I didn't mess up the song or anything. Actually, I'm pretty sure I sang well, so that felt good. I had a great time with Chris too. We had a lot of great times, and a lot of learning times too. I'll call them learning times 'cause that is what they were, plus it sounds nicer then "times when Chris got super frustrated with me and one where I got super frustrated with him." But you know, relationships are just like that. Cousin Joel (psychology Masters, so he knows stuff) said that about 85% of marriages are a lot of hard work and about 15% just get along real well. I know Chris and I are not married, but I just think it's interesting to realize that if we were, we would probably be just fine; we'd just be in that 85% bracket.

However, Chris and I are not officially together anymore. That's about all the detail I want to get into about it, but right now is time for both of us to have our space (being half a continent apart doesn't hinder this either) and consider what the future may or may not hold. We're on really good terms though, so I count it all a victory, thanks to God. These things... as usual... can be so tricky. But Chris is really such a great guy, even if he's tired of me saying that. Neither of us are in any way perfect however, and we're not the most compatible of people in the world either.

Lots to think about, consider, pray about, and rejoice over. The rejoicing is just because, honestly, life is just so beautiful, though strange at times. I cannot deny the beauty of the life in Christ or the path he leads me down. When I stumble, he does not let me fall into darkness.

There are many more things I could tell you... if you weren't so public, silly Mr. Blog. Ah, my friends, do you suppose life ever becomes more clear, or do we simply learn to make peace with the constant undercurrent of change? O.k., that is close enough to a deep thought, whoo hoo! I got it back, sweet!!! Alright, so that was way too much excitement, but I needed it.

Oh, and I'm listening to some great new tunes these days, and some I've had around.

1. Avett Brothers
2. Explosions in the Sky
3. Mahler's Ninth
4. Townes Van Zandt
5. Philip Glass

Woah, I'm really low on the blatantly Christian artists these days. Hmmm... do you think that's o.k. with God? I'm reading his Word and praying as much as ever... so I guess it's o.k. Still, it would be good to get some good, spiritually nourishing songs on the playlist. Maybe I will look into that next. Derek Webb or Sarah Groves or Caedmon's have anything new out? Otherwise I'll go back to some Keith Green and Rich Mullins. Those guys are good too.

I hope your October is going great. What a nice month it is. Kansas has been absolutely gorgeous lately. I wonder where I'll be this time next year...