Today during a music therapy session with
troubled teens, our group leader (I am currently
just a helper) played a Tom Petty song. It
was something about chasing down a dream
that wouldn't find you on its own. I liked it.
One of the kids was a big Tom Petty fan so
it really hit home with him. He recommended
I listen to more of Tom when we were talking.

Lately I'm really excited about Music Therapy.
I kind of go back and forth with my thoughts
on its real value, but lately I've seen a LOT of
important, practical, valuable uses for it in my
classes and from speakers and such.

I conducted my own personal music therapy
session alone in my apartment this morning
after my morning class. I was feeling out of
sorts, and it's not like I made a real conscious
decision to do this, but I sat at the keyboard
and, after a lot of trial and error, a song came.

This form of self therapy has a good deal to
do with the music and letting the sounds calm
me, but it also has a great deal to do with the
process of forming a lyric. Sometimes I don't
even know exactly what it is I'm feeling, but
when I guide myself into creating a lyric to
go along with the mood music I'm creating, it
helps me to see what's going on inside of me.

Here's the lyric (you'll have to imagine the sound):

"I need something to say
I need someone to hold"
He said it under his breath
before the thought could unfold

And when I looked in his eyes
I couldn't bring myself to feel
It was too deep of a wound
The wind blew the leaves

So we pretended to smile
and we pretended to leave
And we pretended that none of it
meant anything

And when he walks on the sidewalk or street
The pavement doesn't feel a thing
And when the leaves fall down from the trees
The trees don't even feel a thing

So pour it over my skin,
Pour it into my soul
Pour it over my head
Then let the anchor take hold

Weigh me down with your love
God of mercy and peace
Spirit, descend like a dove
over me

I need something to say
I need someone to hold
Don't give your love for a day
Let the anchor take hold


I find myself getting more and more
vague in my subject matter lately.
It's like, there are these underlying
emotions that have been brewing
and changing all week, and when I
sat down on a Friday to try and form
a consice thought, many different
feeling fragments from the week
resurfaced and crammed to get into
one song, and I tried to make it a singular
thought, but really, it's a tangle of thoughts
and feelings, which is a good description
of my mental state lately, mixed with a
healthy dose of prayer and stablility though,
thankfully.

Well, it's a good starting point anyways.
God, I really do need you as my anchor.
As the Lori Chaffer (awesome songwriter
whose CD was recently burned for me -
I love it!) song goes, "Please don't let go
of me." Sometimes that's the best prayer
I can pray.

It is my hope and prayer that you are
holding on to God today and also finding
peace in the assurance that even when we
aren't strong enough to hold onto him, he
is strong enough to keep holding onto us
when we lose our grasp. His grasp is what
really counts. That sounds a bit Calvinistic,
and I don't know about all that, but I think
it is true. He saves us. We can't save
ourselves. He draws us with compassion
and grace and a love that is like a solid
anchor. If we recognize what he has done
for us, and how deep his love goes, how
could we ever escape him? Such a love
would haunt me forever if I ever tried to
run away from it.

Here's to that kind of a haunted house and
Halloween. Haunted by the immense love
of the God who created the universe and
sent his Son to save our lost race.