Reflection on Rejection

(I just wanted to write that)

So what else would Lisa be up
to this weekend then having
more drama? Well, that's not
ALL that happened this
weekend. I also went to a
Mystery Dinner Theatre at
KU with a friend and that was
super fun. I even won some
Play-Do!!!

Oh, but yeah, seems that I have
yet another male friend and
nothing more. It's good stuff
though, 'cause I guess things
were stressing him out, it just
wasn't the right context, or
something like that. I understand,
I really do. He's a good guy.

I had a great talk with a great
friend who cheered me up afterwards.
He seems to believe that I am a great
girl who will maybe one day find
someone I click with. Awesome.
I just want someone to believe that
for me when it's hard for me to.

Also, I absolutely love my mom.
Just had to share.

Friends, do not worry about me.
Tonight I have all the gifts in the
world a girl could ask for, inside
my soul, because of Christ.

"Before the throne of God above
I have a strong and perfect plea
A great High Priest whose name is LOVE
Who ever lives and pleads for ME!"

I've been writing a bunch of songs
lately. It's fun. Also, I can officially
play some killer blues on the guitar,
and I even wrote my first blues song
last night on the guitar. It was called
"Lukewarm Love" and it was me venting.

Here's a song that just kind of fell out
of me last week that I'm still not sure
what it all meant. The music came
before the lyrics.

"Fall"

The battle lines are drawn
and I will fall
The shallow eyes of the law
will see me stand and watch me fall

I hold my breath to breathe
I close my eyes to see
And I will fall
And I will fall

I cry out in whispers
I scream out loud so I'm not heard
Don't look at me
with eyes that can't see
Don't look at me
with eyes that can't see

The battle lines are drawn
and I will fall
When painted smiles are gone
maybe then I won't fall

But right now I have to fall
catch me
Right now I want to fall
but don't let me
I need you to get me
I'm worried but please don't let me
die alone


It's kind of vague, I know. Make what you
want of it.

Gotta go work on that pending paper....or
maybe just go to sleep...
Ya know, I think 10 hrs. of Grad. school plus
22 students plus 3 hours of caretaking a week
is a bit too much for Lisa. Prayers would be
appreciated. I'll likely survive...

Blessings.
Oh, and by the way, I just have to share that
sometimes I get overwhelmed by confusion,
anxiety and despair, but God truly does hold
me up. When I take up my complaints with
him, somehow I know (Holy Spirit) that he is
there, desiring to help and guide me.

Rest in him. God is above our understanding,
but he reaches down to help us when we cry
out for it.