As a Christian, I do not have a right to
govern and direct my own life as I see fit.
I am daily putting to death the desires of
my flesh in favor of being identified with
Christ in his death, and living unto him.
I have a right to the spiritual blessings
that are in Christ, to claiming the fruits
of the Spirit, but not to deciding how and
when anything plays out in my life. It is
my job to only lay down my rights to anything
in this world, and unite myself to the vine,
for without him, I can do nothing.

That's what Christ himself told his followers.
"Without Me, you can do nothing." (John 15:5).

I know that is true. Dear Lord, I want so many
things, have so many desires, but my deepest
desire is simply to know you, to remain in you,
and to claim those fruits of the Spirit that are
mine now because of Christ. Please, help me.

I have had an extrememly blessed and awesome past
couple of days. You see, I decided to visit my
brother in Florida! Loren had a few days off
from his grueling computer programming teaching
job, so we went to Sea World and to Sarasota and
to a bird sanctuary, in the pouring rain! It was
all so much fun and such a blessing to me. We
also had so many good talks, laughs, and watched
a couple movies.

Sea World was super cool. It didn't hurt that the
weather was absolutely perfect on Friday. I loved
the dolphin show and the water ride, oh, and feeding
the dolphins! I know, I felt like such a kid. Oh,
and Loren grilled some meat that night and we ate
dinner out by his pool. Very nice. We went to
church together on Sunday too. Yeah for having a
cool older brother who lives in warm, sunny Florida!

I've been doing a lot of thinking, but not a whole
lot of feeling lately, which has been alright. I
kind of went through the drama pretty hard for a
bit, trying to figure too many confusing things out
all at once. I know God was guiding me and helping
me, but all of it left me once again feeling a little
like, what just happened? Am I really a single girl
again? Am I making any progress toward maybe one
day finding a man I can respect and who will love me
for the rest of our days together? God only knows.
I trust him. If I do ever finally come to that day
of feeling sure enough to commit my heart to one
good man, oh, what a day that will be!

For now, I will wait. God knows what he is doing. I
will keep resting in that. I have so much to be
thankful for! This trip to Florida has really
re-opened my eyes to what a great, big world I live
in, and how there are so many opportunities out there
for the taking. I'm excited to think of the next
phase... once I get this Thesis written!

I am glad that my dear Naomi, who has been suffering
from a serious heart condition, is doing better, but
still is having to deal with so much during this time
of recovery. She is very much on my heart lately.
Also, I miss my family and my Renee and Abby. I hope
you all are doing well. And any other dear friends and
acquaintances who may read this, may you be blessed
today with this knowledge, that if we remain in Him,
we will bear much fruit, to the glory of God! May you
seek him today, and may the true light of his love fill
you with love, joy, hope, and a peace that passes
understanding.

Through Christ, we are made holy and blameless, if we
continue in our faith, firmly established and steadfast
and not moved away from the hope of the gospel.
(Colossians 1)