You know what is scary to realize sometimes?
That I'm stuck inside my own head.
However, if I truly believe in God and the
power of the Holy Spirit through Christ, and
in the absolute authority of the Word of God,
this should not scare me too much.

What I mean is, while I know my own heart and
intentions, the fact that these may be good
alone does in no way assure that I will not
cause harm to others. Everybody lives inside
their own mind in a sense, and we percieve things
through a dark, clouded glass. We percieve and
interpret life, but our perception isn't always
the right one.

This kind of scares me sometimes. But once again,
I know that ultimately, my trust is in Him and
His ability to cover over my sins and repair the
damage I do to others, intentionally or unintentionally.

I guess part of this fear comes from wanting everyone
to like me and wanting to never have to upset anyone.
I want so much to be a person who promotes growth in
the lives of everyone I come in contact with, by the
grace given by God. And by His grace, I know all things
work together for good to those who are called according
to his purposes... and so, I need to let this worry go.

God is in control. He will bring about his purposes
despite all the things I royally mess over. That is a
relief.

I've been observing some things about this person named
Lisa lately (me). I think I'm adaptable. I don't have a
lot of fears. I am pretty trusting, though less so then
I used to be. I'm somewhat analytical, somewhat emotional,
and extremely open. These are things I've been learning
about myself.

It's interesting to learn things about yourself through
journaling and then going back and reading things and
reflecting on your life path, decisions, and current
mindset. I feel like journaling is a great way to learn
about the human species because it's an in-depth case study
on the one human being you know the most about: yourself.

Yes, it's scary at times, but I'd rather face it and learn
things then be oblivious to what I am. Many times it isn't
pretty, but it is real and, when I'm interpreting my life
through the lens that the Word of God provides through the
Holy Spirit, it is true. I very much want to know what is
true, face it, deal with it, and grow from it as much as I
possibly can without crossing a line into becoming anxious and
trying too hard to do something on my own power.

That's another thing I've been thinking about: worry. I
think worry is the root of lots of unhealthy, unproductive
things. I've observed this in my own life and in the lives
of others. What is the point of worrying?? It doesn't
do any good to anyone. If I'm starting to worry, I think
the best thing to do is to think of what action I can and
cannot do in order to deal with what I'm worrying about.
And if I can't do anything, then I just need to pray and
give it up to God. To hold onto it at that point is a lack
of faith in his ability to provide and care for his children,
or his desire to do so, which is completely false and from
the devil himself.

Still, it can be hard not to worry. But here's to taking
action, one little step at a time, strengthend by the Word and
the Spirit, towards doing that which we know is right, and
giving up more and more of our flesh, putting on more of the
fruits of the Spirit, and trusting God to accomplish these things
in us. Here's to giving up worry and taking up our crosses daily.
Lord, help us.

I've also been thinking a bit about my tendency to lean
towards being "likeable" and being concerned with
being liked. I don't want this tendency to go too far
so that I don't say things that I need to say and
speak up with what is burning in my heart when I'm in
conversations with people who seem not to know Christ
and the way that leads to life. This is something that
must be done in love and at the right time. I suppose
the best thing to do is to continue to ask the Holy
Spirit to guide me and help me not to be a wimp who
is overly concerned with being liked.

I played a new song of mine (written about a friend
back in April, called "What it All Means") at the open
mic at my Lakewood coffee shop last Tuesday. I've also
been swimming more in Lake Eerie, which honestly seems to
get more beautiful, serene, and clean each time I do.
And with the discovery of a new coffee shop with
outdoor seating, and a new park that is massive, with
tons of trails along a beautiful river... well I think
this place is growing on me. I like being a Cleveland
West sider.

I close with some verses pertaining to the importance of
Christian unity. I'm still loving Ephesians.

"Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to
walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you
have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with
patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,
being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the
bond of peace."

--Ephesians 4: 1-3

Thanks so much for reading! It is highly probable that I
really like you. 200 friend points for you for reading!
: )