I wrote this a few months ago, but somehow, it feels very
appropriate for today. I am going to now post it online to
try and make myself feel special. You see, I'm not feeling
exceptionally special today. Just being honest. But that's ok.
Even if I'm not...I really am, you know, because of who I belong
to (God). Alright already, here's the thing I wrote.

Change and I are solid friends
I move in circle as he bends
Seldom has a day gone by
That he's not saved me or caused me to cry
I love him, though I sometimes fear
I aught not love him quite so dear
For I cannot rely on him
To be there with me to the end
But when the dreadful day to day
Has robbed my inspiration's' play
I am reminded once again
How change can be my solid friend

I dunno. I'm no poet, but sometimes I really like to try.
Basically, sometimes I need change. Then other times,
change barges in and takes over, despite what I percieve as
what I need.

This is one of those times. Yes, things have changed. That one
particular relationship still eludes me - by just a hair, just a
seemingly small matter - that is, the future. It seems small now,
but when I think about it, I suppose this is for the best.

It is interesting to me to note what it was about this past relationship
that didn't sit well with me - this being the matter of stability. I've
never felt that this was a big deal to me, especially considering I am
a songwriter myself and can understand the desire for that to be your
line of work. However, when I consider the possibility of children and
how that would completely change my goals in life, I crave a security
that those goals would be without question taken care of.

Not to say that this matter is a closed case, but for right now, the
singer/songwriter, Catholic man and I are working on our friendship.
Sigh. It is alright. Psalms 30 and 31 helped me out when I was feeling
down last night. I'm so glad I have finally made it to the Psalms in my
personal reading.

So, friend, how are you? Go ahead, tell me. OK, ok, so I won't hear it
and you'll be talking to a computer screen, but still, I'd like to know.

OK, here's another piece of writing. This one has a melody, but it needs
more verses to graduate to being an official song.

Who can tell a heart such as mine-
Where sadness lingers on the vine-
Which broken dreams to stoop and men
Which tears to prune and which to end

Who can hear the tangled truth-
All woven in with sweet vermouth-
Entrust it to the Hands of time
And chase the sorrow from the wine

And here is a little nesting dream I have every now and then when I pass
little houses and think about a life I do not now own.

Someday we two shall live in a little house together
On lazy summer nights we two will go out walking
Someday the dreams we dream will hold us close together
Then with the morning light we'll start all over

Someday these hills shall rise up to the setting sun
Someday this tune shall float out to the ocean
Trees will wave their feathered wings in time with the rhythm
And to the echo of that beat we'll fly along with them.

You know what? There have been a lot of break-ups lately!
It's not just me anymore...It's CATCHING!! Watch out!
Seriously, two really close friends of mine have caught the
break-up bug. All you out there who are happily together
with someone...give them a big kiss today! For real!!

"It's a lonely world. Everybody's grabbing what they can get.
Love is wonderful you've heard. Don't know if you've seen it yet.
But you can't miss it when it comes. Don't settle for less then love."
--The Normals

You know, I have loved much in these past few years. I have
genuinely loved and have been genuinely loved, at least, I really
believe this. This I do not regret. Love is wonderful, I know.
But sometimes, it does not make up for the lack of commonality,
compatability, or whatever. That is a sad fact. But it IS ok.
You've gotta appreciate the experiences you are allowed for
whatever unknown reason. This is what I think anyway.

Thanks for letting me share. I just might work on some music stuff
tonight. I love summer.

I'll let you know if anything significant changes, as it often does.
Thanks for caring, and/or reading. : ) You are FABULOUS!!!!!