Life has been busy, with downs and then slight improvements,
more downs, then bigger ups and now leveling out in the middle,
heading upwards.

Good news:  we found our house!  We will be moving out of this
lovely little crampy apartment in June and into a nice 1950's 3
bedroom ranch across from a little park.  There is a HUGE tree
in the front yard and the neighborhood is really nice.  God has
been so faithful in helping us through this process to finding just
the right fit for us.  It took 3 false hopes and bids that were not
accepted to get here, but it was well worth it.

Jim is away on a camping trip/bachelor party this weekend.  It
came up kind of suddenly, so I find myself with an unexpected
time of solitude, a few days to just be me, all by myself.  It is
nice.  It's kind of lonely at first, but once you ease into it, being
alone can be incredibly restorative, especially when you haven't
been so in a while.

Jim and I have been doing really well lately.  We had some
times of conflict off and on throughout March, but it has been
getting progressively less.  I think we've come to the point of
really not wanting to fight, and also understanding how we
can avoid doing so much better than we had.  We know each
other a lot better having gone through several months of off
and on conflict.  Right now though, things are good.  I am
really so blessed to be married to such a patient and kind man.

Also, I listened to a three part sermon series on marriage on the
Cornerstone Simi Valley Podcast that was really helpful to me
concerning what submission is and is not, and the biblical view
of the role of men and women in marriage.  Cornerstone Simi
Valley is the podcast of the church where Francis Chan used to
preach.  He only guest speaks at the church currently, but I still
regularly listen to this podcast because I really appreciate the
pastors and speakers that they have.  Check it out!

I went to Shawnee Mission Park for the first time last night.  I
can't believe I've lived this close to such a nice park without
knowing it!  Wow, it was very green and beautiful.  I love, love
big, green spaces and friendly, tall trees, some with branches
that spread out as far as they are tall.  I climbed up a hill to one
such tree as the sun completely disappeared.  I was so alone that
I could just sing out loud without one shred of self-consciousness.
I felt closer to God and more in love with him than I have been
free enough to feel in a while.  And while feelings are not the
most important thing, it sure feels good when they are at peace.

Quick update: thesis is progressing slowly, and I'm planning on
finally finishing this summer.  I have almost all of my data
collected, praise God.  I have learned a lot of patience through
this process.  Also, piano lessons are going well as I continue to
gain more students in the KC area in addition to my Lawrence
bunch.  Jim is looking forward to a summer of working on the
house and then starting up his second year as a 6th grade
communication arts teacher.  It's been a good first year at his
school.

One more quick update:  My sister Maralee is pregnant!  This is
completely exciting since it is the first time she has been pregnant
for this long, having had two miscarriages.  It's a huge testament
to God's power because doctors said this was very unlikely because
of scar tissue in her tube resulting from the ectopic pregnancies.
Praise God, who works miracles and answers prayers!  This new
baby will be in addition to her two adopted sons and one foster
daughter (on her way to being adopted).

Well, I could write so much more, but I can't afford to lose more
time right now.  I want to write a song, go swimming, cook
something... or who knows what.  Oh, and I have to finish making
my new mix of music for the car.  I've really been enjoying the
free downloads from noise trade lately!  Hooray for free music!
I got a free album from Sandra McCracken that I have been enjoying. 
Also enjoying select songs from a little known band called Scrabbel. 
It's pretty obscure, but I really like about 5 of the tracks off of the album
1909.  Jim discovered them from one of his pandora stations.

Any new music suggestions for me?  Hope you are well.  God bless.

Just had the most wonderful Valentine's Day - my first as
a married person.  It was really great, especially after the
fight Jim and I had over the weekend.  I'm so glad our
fights are getting less frequent and worked through more
quickly.  With God's help, I think we will keep getting
better over time.

But it really is great to have someone in your life in a solid
way who you can get excited about doing special things for
and with.  I am really enjoying being married.  I even wrote
a song and played it for Jim.  It was called "New Creation"
and was about love and how much Jim's words affect me in
a good way and a little about our story and how God gave us
the verse about being a new creation when we got back together
last March.  He said he liked it.  He also seemed to like the
snapfish photo book.  It was a summary of our last year together
in pictures and captions.  That was fun to make.  I'm really
enjoying my gorgeous flowers that Jim surprised me with
on Sunday, a day early.  He really does take after my dad.
 : )  Dad refuses to comply with Valentine's Day.  

Marriage is completely wonderful, though also scary sometimes.
It can be scary in those moments when I'm feeling needy and
vulnerable.  I'm kind of scared of myself when I'm in that place
because I feel like I lose control over my emotions and they
sometimes cause me to do and say things I don't want to do or
say, but I feel so weirdly insecure about everything I keep
bumbling around, trying to find some reassurance that I am
lovable.  But Jim is learning how to handle me during those
times, and I'm trying to learn to be stronger as well, though I
know that may take quite a few years.  Sometimes I just loose it,
honestly.  I can't always handle my own emotions.  Good thing I
married a strong man who is there for me when I need him most!
Thanks, God, for giving me Jim.

We've had a lot of good times with the Benders lately, celebrating
Bob's and then Lisa's birthdays.  That has been really great, but I
must say, I miss my family in Lincoln a lot.  It's getting close to
two months now!  That will have to be remedied soon...

Jim and I went house shopping for the first time last weekend!  That
was so fun!  We're waiting and praying to be sure about moving
forward, but it is very exciting to consider this step.  We'll probably
make some kind of decision in April, one way or another.  Just looking
for now, weighing our options and praying for direction.

Piano lessons have been going well lately.  I have 20 students now,
split between Lawrence and the Kansas City area.  The thesis continues
to move slowly forward.  Hopefully progress will pick up soon so I can
attempt to graduate in May.  We'll see...

Well, that's about all for now.  Happy Valentine's Day!!