How can I explain all that I'm feeling? I simply cannot.
But that never stopped me from trying before.

I drew a picture that filled up two pages in my journal last
night 'cause words aren't seeming to do the trick lately.

What is it? How can I verbalize it? Hmmm... it isn't quite
there yet.

Let's pause for a commercial break for my upcoming research
project. While researching (I'm not quite sure what my exact
topic is yet...that's what I'm currently researching...) I ran accross
this quote:

"there would be no need for music if it were possible to communicate
verbally that which is easily communicated musically."

Emotions can be so complex, but it drives us to try and find new ways
of representing them. Music, art, literature....that's just a starting point.
Cooking, knitting, exercising, you name it. It's all a cleverly disguised
way for different people to get out or "express' their emotions. Think
about THAT next time you see some macho man jogging down the street.
He is indeed a complex and deeply emotional being, just expressing it
in sweat and sculpted physique instead of notes in your ear or multi-
syllabic words for your brain or colors and shapes for your eyes.

Maybe?

OK, back to what I'm feeling.... Ummm... maybe not.
I mean, there are many layers to these things. On one level, I'm mildly
stressed out in general about upcoming assignments for school. On
the next level I'm processing the ever changing jumble of thoughts
concerning what type of guy I really would be best suited for. Current
status of thought: don't know, except I do know he needs to be somewhat
of an emotional type of guy. None of this non-emotional, completely
logical and rational at all times business. He needs to have the ability to
control his emotions, yes, but he has to not use that ability when it comes
to me. I need emotional, genuine, passionate, all that jazz.

Too much information for you? Sorry. Welcome to my blog.

Oh! And I should mention (for anyone still reading), I have a myspace
artist page. So if you want to hear some songs by me, it's at:
www.myspace.com/lisaenns.

Alright. Now for the deepest level. Despite anything else I'm feeling, here's
the bottom line: I trust God. And you know what? That is such a great
feeling!! Seriously, I don't know how he's brought me here, but I'm faced
with the reality that he has. No matter what happens, I really do trust Him
and am not worried.

I find that absolutely amazing, even to write and to read out loud to myself
and to realize that it really is true. I trust my Savior, my Creator, my God.

I trust His ability to forgive and to cleanse me from my sin. I trust His
ability to make me less like Lisa and more like Jesus. I trust Him to guide
me to the place that I can best shine for and be used by Him.

So thank you, God. Some days I may not feel it as easily as today, but I hope
you always know and always bring me back to the place where I just say,
"I love you. I trust you."

And how are YOU feeling today?