School is upon me. I like school. You learn cool things because
of school. I get to work with troubled adolescents this semester.
I get to play and listen to music with them and that is wonderful!

I hope you are doing extremely well right now. If you're not then
I'm going to zap you with a gigantic zapper.

Ok, that was weird. But you're ok, aren't you? I didn't think it would
really hurt you at all. So if it did, well, maybe it will make your day
a little bit more interesting anyways. "Hey, guys, I got zapped with
a gigantic zapper today." "Woah, are you serious?"

See?

OK, I don't know what's going on with me, but it probably should
stop now.

To totally change gears, I ran across this old writing the other day,
and I still like it. Might as well post it. : )

July 13, 2003

May I ever be true to my heart
May I ever give love away
with the purest of motives
and sincerity

May I ever put my hope in God
and be assured,
though man may question
every move and test me
with sharp arrows that
just barely miss my heart

May my love be ever patient,
remembering the one whose
patience was my security
when my thoughts had come
to a dead end after so many
wrong turns in my mind

May I ever gain the strength I need
to love selflessly
simply from knowing that the one
who painted the sky blue
loves me deeply and without condition

May I ever trust that the same
God who searches my heart
will protect my heart
from those who would decieve
and harm it

Lord, defend and gaurd my heart,
that I might be able to
love without fear,
and not fear that I
will never be loved back,
for that is not why I love

May I ever give love,
because although I had nothing to give,
love gave me everything I need
And may I ever allow this love to
take from me all that
would keep me from
ever being true to my heart

Later, folks.

I have street cred.
Yes, it's true. I am now 20 points cooler than before.
Why? Why, you ask?

Well, in my book, playing your guitar and singing on a
street corner in downtown Kansas City all by yourself
on a Friday night is worth exactly 20 points. And
that is exactly what I did last Friday night! It was kind
of crazy what with almost getting lost and the nice
police man who informed me that you're not supposed
to play up against the buildings but instead play on
the opposite side of the sidewalk, but all in all...it was
GREAT fun! I made a friend and I generally sang my
little heart out, in part to cover up my general lack of
guitar skills. HA!

On a more serious note, Pastor Bill gifted me today with
an amazing Sermon. Thank God for his ministry. He
preached on a passage in Acts 8 about Simon the sorcerer
and how he wanted to recieve God for his own gain and
then he turned that around and applied it to us today.

I was so convicted. He talked about how some people
might come to church because they want to work on
their marriage, but then if their marriage gets fixed, they're
happy and they don't really need God anymore. So then
they've really missed the whole Gospel.

We can't come to God for any other reason than for HIM alone.
We can't come for bread or for a nice life or for nice kids, etc.
That is not the gospel.

In my case it might go like this: God, I'll serve you, but I really
would like you to give me a nice life with a nice husband and
family, ok? So I'm going to go out and try and find this since
you don't seem to be doing much about it.

No, Lisa, no! There are two extremes here: sitting around and
moping about being single and getting bitter that no one magically
falls into my lap....and then just dating like a maniac, trying so hard
to find someone that fits, sometimes trying a little too hard to make
it fit and make it fill me up when it wasn't made to.

I'm done with both extremes.
God, I just want you, ok?
Thank you for forgiving me and giving me many chances to figure
out that YOU are the one I need to look to everyday. You are the
bread of life. It is you, Jesus. You alone. I'm so sorry that it is
so easy for me to forget this and start getting uptight about
whatever is bothering me on a given day. Please help me to
stop focusing on things that were never meant to fill the hole
inside of me. I am empty unless you fill me.

Alright, friend. There is my brutal honesty for today. Now I've
just got to stick to above paragraph. I may need some encouragement
though, ok? : ) Take this as my encouragement for you as well to
focus on the one who has the words of eternal life and the only one
who both fully knows and fully loves us. Isn't he so beautiful? I wish
we could see him better with these human eyes. It will be so good to
finally see him and really be with him someday.

Friend, I need forgiveness. When I'm trying too hard to do things my
way, I not only hurt myself, but I hurt others. That's just the way it works.
Praise God that He is greater then our sin.

God, I can relate to the Derek Webb song "Wedding Dress" tonight.
Help me to repent of my heart's wandering.