Anyone else feel like crying uncontrollably today?

Anyone else have the luxury of a morning to indulge
in such behavior?

Maybe it's just me. Yes, well, I should be hearing
back for sure about the part-time job today and so my
days of such luxury are (hopefully) limited.

I know I'm not the only one feeling like crying lately.
I passed a girl just a few minutes ago with tears in
her eyes she couldn't hide when I said "hello." I know
her only a little bit, but I wanted so much to know more,
to tell her she's not the only one who cries. And I did
tell her, but I have a feeling she has more reasons behind
her tears than I.

My sister sure has gone through the war lately. She, if she
cried at all this morning, has more than enough reason. I,
however, seem to have a gift for being able to cry for no
good reason at all. Sure, I can come up with reasons, but
when it comes down to it, I guess we're all just human, and
all are brought down to the same basic level of crying
uncontrollably every now and then. What can you do besides
seek the Lord and try to do as little damage to others as
possible, even being confident that somehow God will use you
in your weakness as you lean on Christ.

One redeeming thing about being human in this way is the
gift of expression. It seems that in these moments, when
summer is turning to fall and the chemicals in your (my) brain
start bouncing around off of every corner of your mis-shapen
skull, that the ability to express oneself through music or
whatever form (writing, painting, running, etc.) becomes a
life-line. Does anyone else relate?

Just listening to the songs on my iPod, on shuffle mode
yesterday in the car... several songs that normally wouldn't
have, brought me to tears. You'd be surprised at which ones
they were, too. One was from my distant past, one was from the
distant past of musical history (Brandenburg Concerto).. and I've
probably blocked what other songs may have brought me to tears
for the sake of my pride. I can't remember, but it somehow made
me feel better.

But those tears were nothing compared to this morning. I worked
out a few things on the keyboard, then moved to the guitar, just
singing all the thoughts that were jumbling up in my brain, and
once I got them all out, I cried so hard and it felt so good I
can't explain. Not happy good, just good, like a release of
unhealthy tension and emotion that had been needing to find an
outlet.

This only fuels my fire concerning my thoughts on music as a
mood regulator. This is the idea I want to spend the next couple
months looking into as the topic for the Thesis. We shall see..

I hope no one who reads this (not sure anybody does anymore...)
worries about me too much. That's not the point. I'm fine,
honestly. I always bounce back because of the things I know to
be true.

"..he who began a good work in you WILL CARRY IT ON to completion
until the day of Christ Jesus."

--Philippians 1:6

I am praying. There are a handful of people I have on my heart
to pray for especially lately. Life can be hard. God is good
and he hears our prayers and will answer if we pray and do not
give up.

Lord, help me not to be ruled by my emotions, but to put on that
which is pleasing to you and put off that which is passing away
and only of the flesh. Please, I need you to help me know the
difference.

Fill us with the love, the compassion, the affection of Christ.
Please be patient with us. Please forgive us and help us to
forgive each other, bearing with one another in love, and with
meekness.